-- "I get attractive ... after six drinks." (Woman on the dance floor at office Christmas party, overheard by Mark Larson.)
-- "I'm not a bad guy ... a little creepy maybe, but not a bad
guy." (Man to man, overheard walking near the UC Berkeley campus by June Vonich.)
-- "I need to find a boyfriend because I need to argue with somebody." (Woman to woman, overheard on Hayes near Fillmore by Ronn L. Robbins.)
-- "I'm so tired of dating people who don't have decent jobs or
career goals or lives, or can put themselves together or even have
their own car. From now on, I'm only going out with people who have the
'tions: compensation, transportation, motivation, ambition,
attraction." (Woman to man, overheard by Tim Wu.)
-- "If I were a vegetarian, I'd brag about it. I'd probably get laid
a lot more often." (Man to man, overheard on Telegraph Avenue by Christina Tuccillo.)
-- "He wants to have kids, so he's going hetero." (Guy on a bicycle
to another guy on a bicycle, overheard while leaving AT&T Park by Ricardo Morrissey.)
-- "I don't have a relationship with a man, so I decided to have a
relationship with my hair." (Woman at the Fairfax Theatre, overheard by
Shae Irving.)
-- "It's not that that I'm afraid of, but the broken heart
afterward." (Woman to companion, overheard at Nordstrom in San Mateo by
Sam Ainsworth.)
-- "I'm looking for a green man: high productivity and zero emissions." (Overheard in Macy's in Corte Madera by Jon Dreyer.)
-- "If only I was 20 years younger and lesbian." (Woman speaking about her yoga teacher, overheard by Elaine Geffen.)
-- "Call your wife first. And then call the contortionist."
(Fifty-something male to companion, overheard at the ESPN zone for NBA
All-Star weekend in Las Vegas by Anthony Passanisi.)
Next, they meet flesh-and-blood versions of those prospects. This is called "dating":
-- "I'm glad you're meeting someone interesting. It must be that new
medicine you're on." (Female nurse on cell phone, overheard at Kaiser
in San Francisco by Peter Washburn.)
-- "How is it that I get set up on a blind date with the one guy in
Santa Cruz that's a Republican?' (Woman on cell phone, overheard on
Pacific Avenue in Santa Cruz by Amy Wolitzer.)
-- "Well, he lives in the Lower Haight and works in Marin. He's like
a jock-thug-hipster." (Woman on cell phone describing her new love
interest, overheard on the 22 Fillmore by Rachel Huysentruyt.)
-- "In human relationships, there's a male energy and a female
energy. ..." (Woman to woman, overheard on the Claremont Canyon fire
road in Berkeley by Mike Palmer.)
-- "Every new boyfriend makes you get rid of the things the last boyfriend made you buy." (Woman overheard at Cafe Flore by Brian Bringardner.)
-- "I'm supposed to meet him here but I can't remember if he's hot.
Is he hot?" (Woman on cell phone, overheard on Chestnut Street in the
Marina by Mark Pitta.)
-- "I'm not going there to get laid, but I might have to leave early
to avoid it." (Self-assured young man to friend, overheard near the UC
Berkeley campus by Marilyn Pon.)
-- "I don't know if we'll get along. He's a liberal Democrat and I'm a communist." (Woman at Caffe Trieste, overheard by Donna Bero.)
-- "She'll probably talk about you on her blog tomorrow." (Overheard hiking up the Eagle Peak Trail on Mount Diablo by Mike Palmer.)
-- "I don't see us being a girlfriend-boyfriend thing. I mean, we
could be, but it's so obvious to me we won't that I felt I should
mention it." (Boy to girl, overheard at Jupiter in Berkeley by Dave Bourdon.)
-- "He can't get totally wasted because he's gotta donate sperm
tomorrow." (Young woman to young woman, overheard on the 33 Stanyan by Tom Canaday.)
-- "It's not every day you find yourself dating a bullfighter."
(Woman to friend, overheard in front of the Conservatory of Flowers by
The Chronicle's Anastasia Hendrix.)
-- "Yes, I told him I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I mean I
live in San Francisco, don't I?" (Person on cell phone on Montgomery
Street, overheard by N. Stricker.)
-- "The first time she tried to break up with him, they weren't even
going together." (Teenage girl to teenage boy, overheard in Alamo
Square by Donna Laemmlen.)
-- "I'm glad you asked. Yes, I was once charged with attempted
murder." (Couple on what seemed to be first date, overheard at NOPA by B. Stormont.)
If all goes well, they get down to business:
-- "So I told him, 'If she's standing close enough to kiss her it
means she wants you to.' " (Man to friend, overheard at Pasta Pomodoro
on 24th Street by Gerald Nachman.)
-- "Even my hips hurt the next day." (Woman to companions, overheard at Gloria Ferrer Champagne Caves in Sonoma by Leslie McLean.)
-- "So I told him, 'I don't want your phone number! I just want to
make out.' " (Young woman on cell phone, overheard at City College in
San Francisco by Hallie Strock.)
-- "We tried a popsicle cover, but it broke." (Teenage boy to teenage boy, overheard on the 43-Masonic by Dedo Tres.)
-- "Did she de-virginize him?" (Man on cell phone, overheard on Guerrero Street by Walter Gorman.)
-- "Barack Obama. We've made it our new safe word." (Woman to woman, overheard at the bar at Cafe Rouge by Desmond Yen.)
-- "Two small regulars." "Regulars?" "Yeah, I have a different lover
this morning." (Young man talking with barista, overheard early morning
at the French Hotel Cafe in Berkeley by Robin May.)
-- "I had to get a king-size bed. I'm dating a couple." (Customer overheard at White Horse Bar in Oakland by J.T.G.)
--------------
